Blackboard - Goals

My goals in attending this seminar are to learn to be more focused, to communicate better with peers and supervisors. I feel at times, my "go getter" personality gets in the way with my supervisor. So I am hoping to learn better interpersonal skills in working with supervisors.

Mentorship begins

My first supervision with Wayde. Reading assignment - read chapter in Bringing out the Best in Yourself at Work: How to Use the Enneagram System for Success.
I picked the storm of course. I even paint storms frequently! The concept of pinches and crunches is interesting too. I can certainly see myself in terms of feelings and behaviors in several of the pinches.
Crazy, but it turns out I had ordered this book on the way to Williamsburg. I had actually gotten the name wrong for another book the Institute recommended. It came in today. On the way to pick it up, a bottle of pop spills in my purse, all over Wayde's book. Synchronicity?
Other homework: approach supervisor about reviewing assessments and course. Frame positively and discuss with significant other.
Begin working on Leadership plan, develop tasks. Mail him a copy of my LEI and some presentations I have done.

Finished "Leadership and Self-Deception

I finished reading Leadership and Self-Deception. - excellent
(The Arbinger Institute)
- Self-betrayal leads to self-deception and "the box."
- When in the box, you can't focus on results.
- Your influences and success will depend on being out of the box.
- You get out of the box as you cease resisting other people.
- Don't try to be perfect. Try to be better.
- Don't use the vocabulary of the box, use the principles.
- Don't look for other's boxes. Look for your own.
- Don't accuse others, you stay out of the box.
- Don't give up on yourself when you find yourself in the box. Keep trying.
- Don't deny you've been in the box, do apologize, go forward, be more helpful.
- Don't focus on what others are doing wrong. Do focus on what you can do right.
- Don't worry whether others are helping you. Worry whether you are helping others.

Friday: Spirituality and Addiction

Today we got to go to a lecture at the VSIAS. It was okay but I was worn out from the week and couldn't pay attention. I got a bunch of books to feed my particular addiction then was social and went to lunch with workmates.

Thursday

Today we got our mentors. I got my first choice: Wayde. I think he'll be a good match personality wise and with similar experiences in the addiction field and owning his own business. And he's just down the street, convienent. We met with them briefly and usually shy me started talking and didn't stop. I'm not sure I took a breath or let him speak. I did the same thing at lunch, the minute he sat down. The waiters put different food down in front of me but I don't think I ate. In fact I can tell I'm losing weight as I can't eat with the excitement of this experience. The rest of the afternoon we worked with our mentors discussing our LEI's and starting the process of what areas we need to be addressed. I already had one task for mine and I wanted to start that day. I got the instructor to let me have a few minutes at the end to try and recruit people for our SA council workgroup. I thought this was a great opportunity to advertise what we are doing as people came from all over the state and SA Directors were present. Of course no one signed up. We had dinner at the social with our mentors but neither Wayde nor I wanted to stay so we ate at the hotel. I went swimming again so I could calm down enough to go to sleep.

Meeting Mentors

Reading Homework: Building the Emotional Intelligence of Groups. A model for team effectiveness: Group emotional intelligence > trust, identity, efficacy > participation, cooperation, and collaboration > better decisions, more creative solutions, and higher productivity. Today our group activity was to demonstrate and explain how to build emotional intelligence of groups. I talked about a time that I did it "badly" and lost a team mate. I cried! Oh well.

Today we did speed introductions the mentors. Driving down I had wrestled as I already knew two of the mentors and had thought I would pick one of them and couldn't decide! But realized some other people would be better for me during the introductions and I already interact with Will and Tony. And the Institute made that easy as they said we couldn't pick people we already worked with. So I had Wayde Glover as my first choice, then Mellie Randell as second choice and left it up to them for third as I couldn't decide after that. A couple I crossed out, knowing already that they wouldn't work for me. But mostly interesting people were available to be mentors. Lucky for all of us.

Tonight I had scheduled a meeting of the SA Council workgroup that I participate on, although I am not sure of my role: staff support from RBHA? liasion from RBHA? But they allow me to fully participate in ideas and structuring. They even had me chair the last meeting in Will's absence. Will was funny, stating he hoped someone would pick him for a mentor! Even the mentor's have worries about stuff like that.

Tuesday

I changed tables to sit with new people. Two of the guys followed me and I put out the woman who's chair I took. Today we discussed the homework. An intense discussion all day with group activities. We had to enact one of the five leadership styles. We also got the results of our LEI. I was not surprised: conflict management, external awareness, political savvy, financial managment and human resource management.

Course questions:
What more did I learn about my personal leadership skills and personality type? That I am a "hammer" most of the time and a "scredriver" some of the time. Either of these can be ineffective at the wrong time. And I probably use them at the wrong times! I can see I use hammer alot. I also found out that I use a coaching style of leadership most, rather then democratic as I had thought. Coaching can be stressful to those who need more direct leadership. I'm an INFP and I'm not always aware of others or my impact on them and frequently don't care really, or don't care enough to change anything.

Tonight a social gathering. I walked over with a couple of people and hung out with Sally for a bit and then a workmate briefly. I went back to my room soon though. Alone time.

What areas do I need to address in my ILDP? Flexible use of leadership styles, increased awareness of how I impact others, how to focus better on priorities in projects. I get stumped and can lose motivation over parts I feel incompetant in or don't want to do.

What do I want to learn from my mentor? All of the above and how to present myself better.

Readings from: Leadership and Self-Deception
In the box: I see myself and others in a systematically distorted way. I see others as mere objects.
Outside of the box: I see myself and others more or less as we are - as people.

This is an interesting book. I can see myself in this story of the guy and his job. I can certainly relate to how I see people I work with and work for in this concept.

First Day - Monday

Today was our first full day. Very intense. We got our Myers-Briggs Type indicators back. I am an INFP, as always - though moving a little more to the extrovert when I am at work. I do still need to close my door on occasion to get down time and get away from people to recharge. I sat at an empty table and 3 of the 5 guys sat with me, none of the women. I don't know why but I thought that was interesting. Most of the protege's are women and most of the mentors are men. Another interesting fact. We assessed our learning styles, with mine being visual and kinesetic,

So far my goals are to deal with others better, deal with conflict better and learn how to lead my partners and peers in my businesses better.

After such an intense day, I went swimming and ate dinner in my room. I needed the alone time.

Homework reading: "Leadership That Gets Results" About emotional intelligence and leadership style. I think I have a mix of authoritative, affiliative and democratic. But I wonder if I am using them at the right times always. I wonder if I stay a little too long in democratic and then feel put-out when the project isn't going my way or toward my vision. I can think of instances last year where I started out democratic but then wasn't able to keep sight of vision with detractors present.

Additional Reading: "Leadership and Self-Deception:" I can see how I put myself in the box with bosses and peers. I get a negative opinion and hold it for awhile and then don't want to work with those people again or try to structure projects with those people to a minimum.

Meeting everyone

In Williamsburg at the Leadership Institute Course. Tonight was just dinner and meeting the other protege's and staff. They gave us gifts: book bag/brief cases and little stuff. The dinner was nice, at the Hospitality House where I am staying. There are 14 protege's, some at my level and some below, some with more education, some less. One person in marketing. We are meeting the whole time in the hotel, very convienent. It should be intense but fun. I won't see any of the other RBHA people, they will all be at the University Center for the usual Summer Institute presentations.
I picked up a book, "Leadership and Self-Develoption: Getting out of the Box." It's starting out interesting. Principles of how to see ourselves and how we percieve others and how this effects our relationships. I can see myself in the box.

Optimal Experience

The best moments usually occur when a person's body or mind is stretched to it limits in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile. Optimal experience is thus something we make happen.
Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi